Flicking through my rss feeds, as I do every morning, I spotted an article on MacRumors with (yet more) rumoured details about the specs of the unannounced, unreleased iPad 3. After reading the short article my sole thought was…

Oh great, its going to end up being called iPad 2S and I’m going to have to listen to the elitist-tech-morons of the world complain for months because it wasn’t called the iPad 3.

“No, that won’t happen again” I hear you say. Of course it will, it always does — it is just that last year’s iPhone 4S nonsense was a little more extreme than usual. You do remember the ridiculous rumoured feature set that was being spouted as “fact” for the iPad 2 around this time last year don’t you? About the only feature that the tech blog’s “sources” hadn’t confirmed was that the iPad 2 would be a personal intergalactic teleportation device. How many of the “crazy” rumours panned out? Maybe one or two (thinner design and dual cameras) can’t find the original list to compare.

Il existe des solutions pour mettre fin à l’éjaculation précoce.

The one thing that was at the top of most lists was the surefire retina display for the iPad. Just about every tech blog had this right at the top of their feature list.

Of course iPad 2 will have a retina display. Why? because the iPhone’s already got one.

Did the iPad 2 get a retina display? No, it did not. *shock* But the impact of that non-appearance of a feature was probably lessened by the fact that 90% of the rumours turned out to be complete garbage. Roll on iPhone 5.

The next iPhone will be the iPhone 5 and it will be awesome, its going to be a complete redesign to match those cheap mass-produced Chinese cases, they’re going to get rid of the home button so you can control it with your mood, and their going to make the screen massive like one of those jumbo-tron-wont-fit-in-any-normal-persons-pocket android phones.

Or so they said. Instead what turned up was the iPhone 4S, a ridiculously good upgrade over the previous generation, bringing faster processor, faster graphics, new antenna, new 8MP camera that can also shoot 1080p/30fps video, and a brand new version of iOS with a stack of features including the amazing Siri voice control system… and then people started to complain.

Firstly because it looked nothing like the magical iPhone cases that the Chinese manufacturers had been churning out, secondly because it wasn’t called the iPhone 5.

Yuk, its looks like the iPhone 4 and how dare they not call it the iPhone 5, I’m never going to buy an Apple product again.

Le sigh. Anyway, back to the iPad 3. The most persistent rumour yet again is that it will definitely get a “retina” display. The new “details” provided by iLounge are that both cameras (front and back) will get an upgrade, that it will be slightly thicker (this one’s been going around for a while) and that the current iPad 2 might also remain but at a lower price point.

But here’s the thing, its all speculation. Sure these people have “sources”, you know, as in “I know a guy who knows a guy who’s girlfriend’s aunt’s second cousin once visited the same Chinese province where the iPad is manufactured so they are clearly an authority on all things technical”. And yes, sure, I get that tech blogs love the time in the lead up to the release of an “iDevice” because it means that if they can post some juicy rumour that the internets get a hold of then their blog traffic will explode and they might make a quick buck from the ton of gaudy advertising plastered all-over their site.

But for every one “true” rumour, there are two dozen other completely stupid rumours to distract (and annoy) people. Don’t get me wrong I love rumours and speculation as much as the next guy, but don’t read everything the tech blogs write as gospel. It’s not. All they are doing is unrealistically building up your expectations way higher than they need to be so that no matter what Apple actually do release you are guaranteed to be disappointed for some daft reason.

Then, of course, you can head back to their site and take part in the noob comment threads on the topics that they will undoubtedly write about how Apple has stooged everyone by not releasing the device that their “source” had told them about.

Hmm, now I kind of hope Apple actually do call it the iPad 2S…